I am writing this and per usual haven’t titled it yet, because the way this usually works is that I have a bunch of things I want to say and know how I want to say them, but don’t really understand the entire theme or moral of my story. Literally I am a walking, talking, breathing, children’s story book friends; lots of pretty pictures and a story that takes you through tons of twists and turns before you find out the lesson at the end. lol, would it even be a blog post if I didn’t make a cringe worthy and cheesy as heck metaphor?
February started out FANTASTIC for me. Seriously, Feb 1st was a KU home basketball game v. Baylor (sorry about that, Baylor), I met Chip Gaines from Fixer Upper at the game (and he held my phone to take a video to send to my dad!!! hahah AHHHHH!!!!!), I had stellar seats for the game, the student section was crazy fun during a big season game, I made my ESPN debut (twice!), AND on top of all of that got to briefly hang with a fellow future Jayhawk from my high school who I seriously cannot wait to get to know better & become friends with next year. (Hi Brenna if you’re reading this let’s be friends.) Greatest night of my life thus far at KU. I was dead set on February being the best month of my life, haha, not so much. At least it is the shortest of them all, right??!?!?!
I won’t lie, I spent A LOT of February pouting over things that weren’t going my way or that weren’t working out exactly as I wanted to. I spent more time complaining about my situations rather than working to fix them. Basically, I was not having the best of luck, but also not doing anything to improve that. Moral of the story: I was being very immature and zero help to myself or my bad mood. Sure, a few things happened that I had every right to be upset about, but not for more than an hour max. I saw a quote yesterday that said, “was it really a bad day? Or just a bad 10 minutes that you milked all day?” and it really hit me how negative I was acting about a few downfalls and making it seem like the entire month had to therefore be awful. Quite frankly, just like the very start of the month, a lot of good things happened during February! But I was too busy being so gosh darn caught up in the small mishaps that I didn’t even take time to recognize the good. Big mistake, Ally.
These first few days of March have been pretty good to me. I have realized one big lesson that I keep attempting to learn, but then being scared to fully commit to: you can’t get other people to love you unless you love yourself first. Which goes right alongside: people are going to love you for your best version of yourself, don’t stop being him/her to impress people.
Basically, I’ve learned that pouting about something because it isn’t how you wanted it to be isn’t going to change literally anything, ever. I find myself phsycially letting myself get upset and don’t take care of myself as well as I should be. Aka I won’t dress as nice as I do (yeah tshirts are comfy for class, but sometimes dressing nice is a mentality booster for me, try it!) I will let my desk get messy, won’t consistently make my bed, will find myself not as motivated to do homework, etc. I’m sure you can think of a time in your life where being in a bad mood almost made you feel like you didn’t deserve to be the best version of yourself; as if pouting and not doing the things that make you happy would somehow reverse all of the bad things and fix all your problems. Yeah, as easy and nice as that sounds, that isn’t quite how it works.
Let’s stop waiting around to be the best version of yourself. Back to what I said about people not loving you unless you love yourself. You know what people DON’T wanna be around? Someone who is negative and constantly complaining (guilty as charged on occasion, shoutout to my friends for putting up with me!) You know what people DO want to be around? Someone who is confident in themselves, who doesn’t let little problems knock them down, and who always strives to do their best. We are a compilation of the 5 people we spend the most time with, whether we like it or not. Ask yourself if you would want to spend time around yourself…and let that put your bad mood into perspective.
I know it isn’t always easy to look on the bright side of things. As I said, a few things that made me upset this month were TOTALLY worthy of being upset over! That’s life! That’s being a human! That is having healthy emotions and understanding that life isn’t always going to go our way. However, it is when we let these situations control our daily routine that we then need to take a step back and reevaluate the situation at hand and how we are reacting. Is what we are upset over seriously going to change the person that we are? Probably not, so let’s stop acting like it.
For me, this means forgiving easily. Sometimes it is a downfall, and sometimes I let people walk all over me because of it. But I have learned that staying mad at someone, usually for something they didn’t mean to hurt me because of, isn’t worth it. Your friends are your friends for a reason, and as cheesy as it is, we never know how long we get to have them in our lives, so why wait to hug them and apologize?
For me this also means doing things that make me happy. People are going to love you for you. Your friends became friends with the person that you are when you are happiest. Sure, they are going to be there for you when you’re low as well, but as I can’t seem to reiterate enough this post, allow that to be temporary. Friends encourage each other to be the best versions of themselves. Encourage each other to drink more water (lol, but true.) Encourage each other to laugh and have fun. Encourage each other to pursue passions. Be the kind of friend that is the best version of themselves in order for your friends to be inspired to do so as well.
I have spent so much of my life dreaming about what I will be like when I am older. Seriously, I have had my future home planned out the second I discovered Pottery Barn catalogs. It’s the reason I have a Pinterest board dedicated to ideas for my future kindergarten classroom and organization tips for my junior year at KU when I share a house with my friends. I like to plan things out and dream of the future, when I am eventually the “best version of myself.” However, one thing I realized while evaluating February, was that I need to stop putting off being the best version of myself. I need to stop thinking that one day when I have these certain things and these certain clothes and this certain income and these certain accomplishments, that I will THEN be the best version of myself. Why can’t the best version of myself be the one that does things daily that make her happy? The best version of myself exercises in ways she enjoys every day, such as runs around the campus lake. The best version of herself pushes the dream of going somewhere with this blog and setting aside time to write. The best version of myself compliments my friends and writes them little notes because gifts and surprises are my love language. The best version of myself wears bright colors on cloudy days and always dresses for success. The best version of myself never goes without reminding people I love them, and understands sometimes she needs to work on matching her actions along with that statement. The best version of myself is learning to see the positive in every day, and learning that staying negative improves nobody.
So let’s stop waiting around to finally reach that end goal of the best version of ourself. I promise you, if we keep waiting, we will always find something new we want to wait for. Understand that life gets better when you let it, and that no situation can’t be fixed by your own attitude. You have full power over how you feel, and with a little feel good music, a few personal dance parties, a few good laughs with good friends, and a good mindset, you’ll slowly find yourself having more and more good days.
Let’s show March who is boss, friends.
Until next time, xoxo, Ally