Mid-Summer Catchup

Hey Friends! Back again after what has seemed like a never-ending week. I have been working all four (yes, I’m aware I’m slightly psychotic in terms of being busy) jobs non-stop this week and when I find time to breathe I’ve been busy cleaning my room before I leave for vacation or trying to run when I can. I may be the weirdest for this, but running outside in the extreme heat is like crazy therapeutic for me. From the few friends I’ve shared this with, I’m for sure crazy, but it feels so much more beneficial and well, sweaty than just a regular run around the block! ANYWAYS, I thought I’d share a few things I’ve been up to lately!


Farmer’s market runs with my bean Brenna! & flowers in general! I’m convinced it’s from growing up a dancer and being pretty used to the frequent post-recital flowers, but I am the BIGGEST flower lover and will buy them over my daily coffee any day. Having fresh ones in my room is so nice and I think my roomie Brooke and I are going to try to make having them in our room constantly a goal this year!

Speaking of farmer’s market finds, macrons! This was a dark chocolate one that I think I fell in love with. I’m a frequent fan of Trader Joe’s macrons as well, but am always open to new suggestions. DYING to learn to make them one day, as tricky as it sounds!

IMG_9261.PNGMy friends from school and I hit the lake the week of the 4th and spent a night watching storms and giggling over the Instagram explore page. Speaking of the 4th, my cousins and I had our annual get together and my bestie cousin Sammy and I were water balloon toss parters per usual. Don’t think we’ve ever actually won, but ask us who wins and we will always claim we’re the reigning champs ūüėČ Sammy is coming to NYC with me too and I’m beyond stoked!



Next week is my last week at my summer internship ūüė¶ We had a cute little breakfast farewell for me today and it was the sweetest! Definitely going to miss all my “work friends” and all the picture taking and spreadsheet typing I spend my time doing!

That’s all for now! Have a great rest of your Friday!

Until next time, xoxo, Ally



xo summer playlist

I wish there was a “Manic Monday” song for Friday’s, because I need that right about now, ha. I’ve had a nasty mix of allergies and a cough that has been keeping up at night and my bed was THE most comfortable thing this morning. Nevertheless, I am at work and emailing away! I’ve been meaning to get this post up for awhile, apologies for my
“summer” playlist going up halfway through summer (over halfway for myself but I’m pretending not to think about that haha!)¬†I’ve compiled a few songs I have been loving & my sisters and I have been driving to! Something about summer makes me that annoying girl that likes country music & yes I never say that out loud but…oh well, oops.

Enjoy!! I’ll be enjoying (???) the 101 degree temps today in Omaha…ugh! love to hate the heat! haha until next time pals, xoxo, Ally


Friday Finds 6/22/18

IMG_8890 2.jpg

{one} TGIF!!! This week has been crazy busy (but when are they not?!)¬†and I am FAR more than ready for a relaxing pre-birthday weekend! My birthday is Monday the 25th and I am stoked to use it as an excuse to eat ice cream for every meal (as if I haven’t done this already on a regular day, lol.)

{two} I wish it was summer year-round solely so I could wear delicate white tops/dresses whenever I would like. This one is no exception! For under $40 I may or may not be adding this to my wishlist…or cart…same thing right?

{three} It’s been cloudy and rainy here all week which, naturally, makes me think I¬† *N E E D* these. Another pair of rainboots? Duh. One’s with dogs under umbrellas? Uh, heck yeah.

{four}¬†If there is one thing I am dead seriously the WORST at walking away from, it’s statement earrings. Target is my worst enemy, along with the Nordstrom website. Kate did a post with 32 of her favorites and I am using every ounce of self-control I have not to buy them all. Especially this beaded pair and these gorgeous cream ones!

{five} So I am DYING to hit up the DryBar while I am in NYC in late July. & by dying I mean i NEED to or I may throw a times square tantrum. This video didn’t help how badly I need to go!!!

{six} You betcha I was that middle schooler that was in LOVE with Abercrombie back in the day, and lowkey have never gotten over that phase. Their EVERYTHING is so soft and such good quality and their styles have been impressing me like crazy lately! Their dresses specifically. Here are a few I love: tie-shoulder , embroidered smock , and this darling satin slip dress! Those white and blue flowers!!!!

{seven} I know that social media is highly excessive and energy draining with how much work is invoved in a good post lately…but if you’re like me and neverfailing to give into the hype. This Everygirl article on Insta Stories is SUCH a best kept secret.

{eight} Did you see my post earlier this week on staying un-stressed?! I’ve gotten an awesome response rate and am SO glad I am not the only one feeling this way in the summer!!!

{nine} Once again, I REALLY want to get into vlogging and get some video content up on the blog…but my days seem, well, boring. I’m either in my cubicle or babysitting kiddos all day. The kids are hilarious all on their own and I’m sure would be very entertaining…but aren’t really up to vlogging, or staying still for more than 5 seconds for that matter, ha! However, I have been doing lots of intern updates on my insta, so make sure to follow over at @xoxoallisonnicole ! Debating on doing a little birthday weekend video though! Stay updated for content on that! Would you guys like to see college videos?! Leave a comment and let me know!!!

{ten} MOOD!

Until next time, xoxo, Ally


Staying Sane This Summer

If there comes a time where I don’t start a blog post talking about how I’m so sorry I haven’t posted in forever because of how busy I am…honestly although that’s the goal, I think we should all be a little worried. I thrive off of staying occupied and involved 24/7 and this summer is no exception! I am having a blast and a half at my digital marketing and advancement internship at my high school this summer, getting my own cubicle, camera, and Instagram login (the whole 9 yards and I am totally geeking out, lol.)¬†¬†In addition to that, I am nannying here and there, an!d working at my restaurant job during nights and weekends. Oh, and keeping up with all Panhellenic needs via email 24/7. Needless to say, I am also finding time to sleep and eat somewhere in there!!! I’ve quickly developed a few habits that are allowing me to get everything I need to do while still not losing my mind! Although, that admittedly has happened a few times due to an unexpected dead camera battery or a 2-year old that is so overdue for a nap!


LEAVE¬† WORK AT WORK!!!!¬†With two of my jobs being highly social media and online communication based, this one can sometimes be tough. However, I have come to realize that minus a few small tasks here and there, there really is nothing that was assigned Friday at 10pm that can’t wait until Monday morning at 8am when I return to my cubicle to accomplish. Learning to let go of my to-do list can be hard when in the digital age we live in, things can be requested of you at a moment’s notice via text and I can get notified that I need to edit something at 6pm on a Saturday night, but it’s wild how the world keeps spinning if instead, I stick to my weekend plans if the task means going out of my way to go back into a “work” mindset. I’ve learned I get so much more done during the workday if I know that’s the only time I am allowing myself to do so! This habit works best if you make sure you inform those you work with that this is your schedule as well. Most people are happy to respect it, as long as you make them aware it’s still on your to-do list and you are hearing their request!

Morning “Fuel Up”!!!!¬†I used to be a HUGE morning person in high school. Like, up a good hour before I needed to leave for morning dance team practice, full hot breakfast cooked, coffee drank and lunch packed all before 6am kind of morning person. No clue what college did to my body or mindset but needless to say, this is for sure not still the case. Mornings are quite the struggle for me, but going through a work week that involves me being up and ready to function before 8am means finding solutions to that. Drinking water BEFORE my coffee is a huge one that I have been in the habit of for years now, but recently I have switched from the water from my refrigerator to room temp water. Sounds silly, but I heard it somewhere and decided to give it a try! When your water isn’t freezing cold, as refreshing as it can be on summer days like this, waking it up with room temp water allows it to absorb quickly into your body and fuel you up faster!

Plot Your Time For EVERYTHING!!!! Keeping this one short and sweet: if you want to do it. put it on your calendar. give it a time slot. whether it’s a nap. a shower. your workday. plan. plan. plan.

Figure Out What Works!!!!! Do you work well under high management or high freedom? Do you prefer requests texted or emailed to you? Do you work best all at once or with breaks? Find out what works best for YOU and make sure those around you are aware as well! The best way to get things done is to get them done YOUR way!

Learn Something New / Keep Up!!! I will go in spurts of being really on top of this and then die down when I get super busy. It’s SO important to keep updated on news not only within your field or specialty but with the world as well! My favorite way to quickly do so is using The Skimm email subscription! The news is delivered to me in a fun and quite often, funny, way every morning so I never feel out of the loop! Another way I love to keep myself learning is through things like blogging or my internship! I am constantly having to use new programs, applications, and adjusting to new processes. Google and YouTube may be my best friends, but nothing feels better than finally getting an HTML code to work or finding that crop button on InDesign you had to spend 20 minutes searching for. (Guilty.)¬†Keeping yourself open to learning new things and not saying no to a project just because you don’t understand quite how to accomplish it can leave you feeling in a creative rut! Plus, I’m a week away from 20 and it’s never too early to start keeping my brain young…right? ūüėČ

Have Fun!!!!!¬†Cheesy, I know, but true! Whether it’s an internship or a day job or a babysitting gig, having fun makes time fly by! Make sure to take some time to laugh throughout the day. This may involve a quick call or text to your funny friend because let me tell you, I’ve learned this summer that there is absolutely nothing funny about Excel spreadsheets!

Hope whatever your summer stress is caused from that this may help you stay sane! Until next time! xoxo, Ally


Stripes + Pompoms, nothing new

Admittedly, this isn’t the first time the blog has seen a blue and white striped and ruffled combo and chances are it won’t be the last. I couldn’t NOT post it, however, considering absolutely ANYTHING blue&white is in my summer rotation and this piece is no exception.

Being a nurse, my mom had to work on mother’s day but my sister and I decided to drop off her favorite (& my favorite, & everyone’s favorite) salad for lunch for her! Which meant we obviously needed to get brunch ourselves beforehand, obviously. Same situation and excuse as the night before when an assigned trip to Target to get some family-needed groceries turned into me buying into their jewelry sale. How was I supposed to pass up pom-poms?! Not to mention pink ones!!!


I’d be lying if I said my sister didn’t see the necklace in my hand and automatically say, “of course you picked that out.” I am deciding to translate that to, “you have such great taste!”


I’ve also been OBSESSED with my shoes from Target. Purchased as a last minute Easter dress accessory, they’ve transitioned into a staple piece that has been paired with literally everything I’ve been wearing! Easy to do when they’re so cute and soooo comfy!


shoes // jeans

Until next time, xoxo, Ally


April loves

Okay so it’s 8 days into May and this is just getting up…like my brain currently and my life considering I leave KU tomorrow and my packing has consisted of not doing my laundry for a good few weeks now…everything has been a liiiiiittle chaotic lately. Welcome to April / May in college life. I still have been loving far too many things to not get this up though, so better late than never right?! (my life motto honestly, fashionably late are probably the two best words to describe me…always!)


Eating //¬†Croissants. Oh. Boy. Like, tons of them. They’ve always been a favorite treat of mine but lately, I have had literally multiple a week and have actually started to get somewhat picky about them and their quality. Diva? Maybe. Worth it? Absolutely.

Listening to // Mean Girls is on Broadway now and ever since friends and I did it as a speech my senior year (yes I do have every one of Cady Heron’s lines memorized) I have had such a bigger appreciation for it. I am already on the hunt for tickets for when I go to NYC this summer but the few songs that are already out…SO. GOOD.

Reading // The Every Girl, as always. Seriously my go-to for when I am stressed out and need a non brain busting thing to read but still want to stimulate myself. This article is basically what everyone screams at me 24/7 and now that it’s in online writing maybe I’ll even be convinced to listen…maybe?

Sippin // Arnold Palmer season is back in my mind and therefore my green tea lemonade spin on it from Starbucks is as well. My all-time favorite and I am not sure anything will ever top it!

Wearing // always. always. always. the most classic!

Day Dreaming // How E X C I T E D I am for my big girl internship this summer! Basically,¬†this is like the coolest thing to happen to me since meeting Hoodie Allen so, be prepared for lots of little exciting updates. Already planning my outfits. Okay, maybe I’ve been planning those for a while! Lol, who is surprised.

Until next time, xoxo, Ally




love done right


tumblr_oyv5q9KIuG1wv4f43o1_500.pngNormally when I have a really long word vomit type post full of feelings and emotions for you all, I like to check out some of the other online reading I do to see if there are other articles out there on the interweb that match how my heart is feelin’ at the moment. I do this to get another point of view into the subject and to really just quite frankly, get myself even more into the feels and passionate about the topic in order to type out some real good stuff for all of you, considering you deserve the best. However, today I couldn’t find anything about how you need to be so aware of how you want to be loved and to go ahead and be forward about that, and I am honestly a little disheartened and decided I needed to be the one to share it with the world then, because it is SO ! DANG !¬†IMPORTANT !

I also couldn’t find a good and accurate quote to relay what my heart is trying to put into words anywhere, so when this goes viral one day, someone out there make into something cute and post it on Pinterest okay? Thanks. But here’s my shot:
Love is a fantastic, wonderful, extraordinary concept. Everyone’s love is individualized to their own heart, shaped by their experiences, personality, and way of going about life. That’s the craziest and coolest thing about love: it’s not easy. It’s a challenge to understand another individual and how their heart loves, and how to express your own love in a way that best fits them. I truly don’t think there is anything more beautiful and loving than knowing a person’s heart so well. Learning to love someone is a constant and ever-changing adventure. However, this whole ordeal of loving someone the way they properly should can’t happen without communication.

Believe it or not, the people that love you can’t read your mind, as much as sometimes I’m convinced that they can! Trust me, I haven’t always been good at expressing how I feel in person, to be quite honest I just discovered how important it really is and what it looks like for myself within the past year. I often feel like I am being a burden or that my input sounds needy or a lot to ask of another individual and avoided the situation of telling others how I felt all together. This often ended up causing tension when things I didn’t like occurred or I felt left out or hurt in any way. I felt in a rut of being stuck between wanting to be selfless and wanting a healthy¬†relationship with others.

Crazy fact I learned after pondering this for many years: How you feel ABSOLUTELY matters and if someone really loves you, telling them how you feel about things WILL NOT damage your relationship whatsoever.

Now I get that this whole thing is very vague, and I am trying to intentionally keep¬†it that way in order for you to decide how you want to best go about all this for yourself. But telling your friends and relationships how you want to be loved is as simple as figuring out what makes you feel good and what doesn’t.

As someone that deals with a lot of anxiety, telling people BEFOREHAND what makes me get all nervous or quiet and in a bad space, allows them to prevent maybe talking about a topic they had no idea would affect me. Simply taking the 5 awkward minutes to tell them “hey when you say xyz or when xyz happens, it doesn’t make me feel great” is so worth the avoidance of them feeling guilty for causing you trouble by not knowing.¬†You miss someone and they aren’t picking up at your hinting at hanging out? Maybe because you’re like me and assume people pick up on every hint. Newsflash, they really don’t. Don’t be afraid to just straight up tell them how you feel. The same goes for concepts like someone maybe making you feel discouraged about something, or not giving you attention or sympathy when you need it. You are not a hassle to ask for what you need. You are a human being with emotions and feelings that deserves to be loved exactly how she needs to be.

In terms of the GOOD stuff, the FUN stuff, the EXCITING stuff: TELL THEM THAT TOO! Tell them your favorite places to eat, tell them how you love it when they ask you how your day is, tell them that you appreciate when¬†they pay for your coffee or pay attention to your feelings. Relationships are supposed to be FUN. Let them be. Don’t feel like you’re going to take anything away from yours by giving it a little guidance. Sure, they’re supposed to be easy, but a little effort goes a long way into making that easy smooth sailing.

I hope you were able to take a nugget or a few nuggets (I am STARVING and chicken nuggets sound stellar, wow) away from this and are able to feel a little bit more ownership and pride behind your heart. It’s a pretty special thing you have going for yourself, and it deserves to be treated exactly how it would like. Give that lil guy some love, and let others know how to give it some as well.

As for me, I accept any and all forms of chips & salsa, thanks. Hehe.

Until next time, xoxo, Ally


April Updates

Talk. About. Time. Flying.

I know this ALWAYS is the case with spring semesters, but I feel like this one has flown by even more than most I have experienced. Even though I have a bunch of fun things lined up for this summer including a big girl internship back at my high school, spending too much time where I work in the evenings with my favorite coworkers and favorite foods, and spending 2 whole weeks in New York starting late July, I am still not ready to leave Lawrence in just 3 weeks.

I compiled some snaps from some of the fun I’ve been up to lately, but in all honesty, it’s been a whole lot of school and a whole lot of Panhellenic duties. Which don’t get me wrong, I love both a WHOLE lot and am having a ton of fun preparing myself for future endeavors, whether that be in the classroom or the big city social world.

Here’s just a few of the happenings lately:


BIG LIL REVEAL: I’d be lying if I said we weren’t the same exact person with the same exact humor and food cravings 24/7. Also she used to work at JCrew and I think that’s when we became soulmates after I would pick her up wearing something that she would mention was already in her closet.¬† Also, she just REALLY likes carrots, I don’t get it either, but I will admit I’ve been snacking on them more since spending time with her.


ON CAMPUS COFFEE STOP: Lately never caught without a macchiato in hand these days…oops! Also never caught with a loaded bank account after this place opened…double oops!


THE GO-TO FIT LATELY: THE WEATHER has not been helping my habit of living in comfy neutrals. Which is all fun and games, but the spring and summer colors are about to be wayyyyy more fun.¬†In the meantime, living in Athleta doesn’t exactly make me unhappy one bit.


OH BLONDE BABY: I’ve been having FAR too much fun with the slightly blonder pieces in the mane. Much needed after how dead my hair was (I brush it mom, sometimes, I swear) and I’m so glad I just let her have some fun


LOADED FRIES PHILO EVENT: One thing I LOVE about each and every member of my chapter is how willing they are to dress up a t-shirt at any given chance. Never not inspired by their fashion sense 24/7



COFFEE & CROISSANTS: Brenna and I did some major people watching and coffee sipping Saturday morning for a little over an hour and it was the absolute best way to start a weekend. Not to mention we are both croissant enthusiasts and I HAD to introduce her to what I like to claim are the best ones Lawrence has to offer. I also like to claim after this experience, she completely agrees.



WOW: Had to save this beauty for the last picture to end on the highest note possible. I may have had the genius croissant idea but Brenna was way too smart about this one. Margherita pizza with goat cheese and an egg (add egg!) and wow. I truly don’t think we spoke to each other, just sat there and devoured the thing for a good ten minutes. Already planning our next plan we get to meet this pizza again.




Lastly, because¬†I love sharing things I love with all of you so you can love them too, here are a few things from The Everygirl (have I ever mentioned how I can’t go a day without reading their articles…) for you to browse and get some nuggets of wisdom from as well:

How to Communicate Better In A Relationship

How to Get Out of A Slump (boy do I need this one sometimes)

Making Your Space Photo Worthy (as a blogger, I so feel this one, and here’s a fair warning to whoever will be sharing a home with me one day, read up and prepare ūüėČ

Improving Your Relationship by the End of The Day

Hope you enjoyed catching up and seeing a little bit of what I have been up to lately! As always, dream big work hard be kind have fun!

Until next time, xoxo, Ally


social media spring cleaning



For someone who currently and plans to *hopefully* for a long time base their career off of online content and social media, I. Hate. It. 

A DARLING magazine article I was reading the other day described how we go about using social media every day. She started to discuss how she felt how Facebook, or any other social media platform per say, is like a grocery store:
“You might see a friend or neighbor there and catch up on how your mom is doing, where their kid has moved, or what random groceries they‚Äôre buying because of yet another 30-second recipe video. Much like a grocery store, social media has a plethora of things in stock, but there‚Äôs also plenty you can‚Äôt expect to find, like restaurant-quality French toast. And if you run over there when you‚Äôre¬†really¬†hungry, well, it‚Äôs all downhill from here.”

The last sentence hit me, hard. Don’t get me wrong: I love Instagram. I live for the aesthetically pleasing and seasonally colorful coordinating¬†pictures on the feeds of all the other bloggers I follow, I adore getting updates from my friends at other schools, and I don’t mind seeing my sweet Jayhawks on my feed when I pass by @kuhoops every once and awhile as well. But my enjoyment of all this can go from 100-0 really quick by seeing one thing I didn’t want to. Whether it be something I wasn’t invited to, an outfit that looks much better on someone else than I imagine it would on myself, or even dumb little things that people mindlessly post can and sometimes do put me into the worst of moods. It’s not something I’m proud of, or am glad that happens, or even know WHY it happens, but it does, and I know I’m not alone. It’s not when I am mindlessly scrolling before class starts or while waiting in the Starbucks line that my ego is more vulnerable to everything I see on my screen. It’s when I start doubting myself, my self-worth, my value in other people’s lives, etc…that my brain starts to almost SEARCH for online reasonings to validate all these bad feelings. I feel like I’ve been distant with someone lately? Oh, the picture with that other friend they posted MUST mean they hate me now and have a new best friend. Another perfect blogger picture? Oh she’s my age too? I am failing and should give up now because I’m not at that level yet. Another picture of my younger sister wearing MY clothes…yeah no that’s actually pretty normal. (hehe kidding…kinda…either way I had to give a little sister shoutout, she’s 16 today! woo!!)

But really, your noggin will search for bad when it’s hungry. Pay attention to that. I debated giving up social media altogether for about .5 seconds until I realized I get paid to post on one Instagram account and get a grade in art class for posting on another…so that was hopeless. Plus, there are the TRILLIONS of positive aspects of online and social media as well. I wouldn’t be such a Public Relations and Marketing nerd if I didn’t believe in the positive power of social media as well as all of the networking and opportunities it can bring about! Basically, in today’s society, I’d be putting myself at a disadvantage for not using social media. However, I knew I had to do something about how it made me feel.

A week ago I was following over 1500 people on Instagram, and probably seeing 20% of that content. (yeah, i’m yet another blogger angsty about the janky Insta algorithm, what’s new.) It hit me one night when I was genuinely getting FRUSTRATED that I hadn’t been on social media all day and it was taking me forever to get through my entire feed…talk about a first world problem right there. I was getting real-life¬†anxiety symptoms over not being able to see everyone’s pictures and “keep up” if you will. It was one of those things where I was stressing out and getting upset and didn’t even truly¬†know why.

Then and there is when I started unfollowing people. I was scrolling and realized that some of the people I followed were people I have never even spoken to in real life, or wouldn’t even choose to if I got the chance. People I hadn’t seen in years, friends of friends of friends, and far…FAR…too many food accounts. (honestly, I didn’t unfollow too many of those actually…)¬† There was a list: if they didn’t encourage me, inspire me, or keep me informed, the account had to go. At one point I stopped feeling guilty for any of it, and I think that was where my, and many other’s, problems usually begin: thinking that we are required or obligated to follow or interact with people in our lives. If seeing it doesn’t bring you joy, and you have a chance YOURSELF to change that, why don’t you.¬†Unfollow accounts that stress you out, people that make you feel anxious or upset, or anything that doesn’t encourage you to be the best version of yourself.

That all being said, make sure YOUR account is also one you’d want people to be following. Use social media as a platform to inspire others and yourself. Showcase things you’re proud of, things that make you you, and things that you love. It’s your little grid of squares girl, use em wisely.

The DARLING article ended with this and I couldn’t leave it out:
“Instead, let‚Äôs invest more into the strength of people uniquely placed in our spheres, rather than working so hard to articulate who we ‚Äėare‚Äô on the internet, cowering under the weight of the world listening.”

&&&&& with all that I am done for this post friends. As always thanks for reading these wordy rants and here’s to hoping they made you feel something. Feelings are good, especially on rainy Mondays. Until next time, xoxo, Ally


yes to no



*photo link*

Hey there friends, before I even begin as to where I’ve been: first things first…I’ve been SO! DANG! FRUSTRATED! With the blog logistical world this past month. I had such a fun Valentine’s Day post I wanted to go up that week with such a cute little gift guide widget. Well, turns out the hosting I use doesn’t accommodate to the widget I created. Turns out I have zero clue how to properly find hosting that does and when I do turns out I have zero clue how to install it. So, moral of the pretty pathetic sounding story: most of the time I have ZERO CLUE what I am doing!!!!!!!!!! (just incase any of you needed a friend in knowing you also have zero clue what’s going on at this point in life)

So I’m about to just go out on a limb here and start off the meat of this blog post by quoting The Office; but I feel like not too many people will be TOO upset by that. Anyways,

“I hate the idea that someone out there hates me”

HEY PAM!! SAME GIRL!!! ME TOO!!! I FEEL YA!!! I FEEL YA LITERALLY EVERY SECOND OF EVERYDAY WOW OH WOW!! But really, I think I have said this exact thing countless times and it never fails to resonate with me time and time again.¬† I will admit it with everything I do, and I know I am not alone, I am your textbook definition of a people pleaser.¬†I absolutely despise nothing more than saying the word “no” to people. It physically pains me and not having an answer for people’s questions or solutions to people’s problems? I think I literally start itching and contract a fever. Okay, slightly dramatic, but you all know who you’re dealing with here. However, I am starting to realize how highly this is affecting not only me, but the people around me, AND the people I am saying “yes” to over and over again.

I am the type of person that can get so easily caught up in the billions of things she has to do that at one point finally just crashes. I thrive on a busy schedule and much prefer to be doing a billion things and have a never-ending to-do list in my agenda. Free time honestly scares me a bit because I’ll be honest with myself, unless I have planned out what I have to get done, nothing will get done, and then the stressed and flustered cycle continues. I know what you’re thinking: “we get it, you’re busy…so what?”

I started a little tradition with myself my junior year of high school back when I started this lil piece of the web in which every start of the month I look back and find one “good” adjective and one “bad” adjective to describe how I feel I performed as a human bean the past month. This past month the only word I could come up with was BUSY. I honestly didn’t even know whether to include it in the good or bad and became super concerned as to how I was spending my time. Not that anything I was doing was things I regret doing whatsoever, instead I was just finding myself fueling up with business instead of taking the chance to breathe at times. I wasn’t even doing things that I was necessarily proud of or that made me happy. My creativity levels were at an all-time high. But my brain was a constant battle of “omg-ally-you-need-to-do-this-like-right-now-immediately” and “omg-ally-for-the-love-of-god-why-are-you-doing-nothing” and also “omg-ally-please-nap” (mainly that last one.)¬†

& here we reached the peak of my people pleasing busy achieving problems: when you continuously are trying to do things for others, there comes a point in which you have done so little to get your own shiz done that you become almost detrimental to yourself and the people you are trying to HELP. Aka the literal OPPOSITE of what you put yourself into this situation to do in the first place. Funny how that works. Ya walk in with good intentions to make everyone happy and sprint out 4 hours later than you planned, looking dishelved, probably dehydrated, and now realizing your “free evening” you thought you had was filled with smaller tasks of things you probably didn’t even NEED to be doing. But something along the lines of “sure no problem!” slipped your mouth and the gratification of saying yes to something, aka crack for people pleasers, determined your plans for the night instead. You also get super frustrated because you want to be doing fourteen billion different things but refuse to excetue them unless they’re perfect an so they just never end up happening which frustrates you even more (oh, idk, this blog post included?!) Sound familiar? To most of you, probably. Don’t I sound like a blast and a half to be around?!! Ha, hence why this is being written.

After finishing up Rock Chalk Revue about a week ago, I’ve gained a majority of my free time back and didn’t realize how much of it I was using while running the show. It’s been less than a week, but myself, and multiple people close to me, have realized how big of a difference I have had in my priorities and my emotions. Realizing that, sure, I’m probably always going to be someone that thrives on being busy is one thing. But understanding WHAT I want to be putting my busy energy into and WHY I’m doing it is entirely another.

To be quite honest with you all, nothing is more exhausting than feeling like you’ve been trying to get your shiz together for YEARS. It’s almost like life lately has just been one big oh if I get x y and z completed THEN I will be this super cool shining star that can wear dresses and tennis shoes in the middle of the street like I spend hours staring at on my Pinterest feed every night. Realizing that I will NEVER have my shiz together is something I’ve accomplished this past week. Realizing that no matter how many positions I hold, how many meetings I can fit into my schedule, or how many trends I can manage to keep up with will never make me feel accomplished finally settled in.

I found myself with my best friend the other day and both of us were talking about how good it felt to be able to just be so content doing NOTHING together and I couldn’t thank her enough for that comment. We had both made time in our schedules to spend time doing absolutely nothing and I can vouch for the fact that both of us were happier than we had been in a LONG (and busy) time. THAT’S where i want to be shoving that energy. I don’t want to stop saying “no” completely, that will never happen. But I DO want to start saying “yes” to the things that make me happy. Yes to taking time to write every day and express emotion. Yes to talking things out and having real and genuine conversations with human beans I care about. Yes to doing things for others, but only if I have done a mental check to see if that not only fits in my physical time schedule but my mental sanity schedule as well, instead of just saying yes for the sake of it, especially if there was someone that could’ve done the job better.

A few ground rules and reminders I’m setting for myself and all of you out there as well: you are NOT an unlimited resource, if your yes for something is anything LESS than crazy enthusiastic if it is something you don’t HAVE to do…maybe it should be a no, SAYING NO DOESN’T MAKE YOU A MEAN PERSON! THIS IS A BIG ONE FOR PEOPLE LIKE ME WHO ARE TERRIFIED OF BEING MEAN! and last but not least, not being able to do everything doesn’t make you any less of an achieving goal getting superwoman. In fact, being able to recognize when you should say no is actually hella strong and very superwoman like within itself.

Oh hey there, multiple rambly paragraphs later! Sup! Did you make it through that alive? Did you at least grab a snack for the read once you got a sentence in and realized it was one of Ally’s never-ending word vomits? Let’s hope. Well, that’s a wrap for tonight. It’s 8:35 pm on a Friday night and the newest episode of Riverdale and my bed await. Don’t forget: let’s practice making intentional choices on where you put your time, energy, and attention to where it will feel meaningful to YOU.

& as always, until next time, xoxo, Ally