what I’ve been lookin’ for

If my 2017 resolution was to never start off blog posts with “so I was on Pinterest…” I would be off to one heck of a rough start. Because, as usual, I was on Pinterest, when I found a quote that I really resonated with in terms of my goal for myself this year.

“I hope you find what you’re looking for in 2017”

Quite honestly, sometimes I think we can be constantly running around searching high and low and draining ourselves of energy trying to figure out what the heck we want out of life. At least for myself, I know sometimes I constantly think I need to be doing something more. I need to be involved in more, I need to go out more, I need to work more, I need to study more. However, when all I do is constantly worry about what comes next and what I am NOT doing, I lose focus of all the things in life that I AM doing and all that I am accomplishing while constantly searching for a bigger purpose.

*taking a brief pause from all of the serious lecture preaching for this picture because while typing this I keep giggling and thinking of Ryan’s jazz squares during “What I’ve Been Looking For” from HSM hehe…also…not AGAINST Sharpay’s outfit quite frankly…*

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Alrighty, singing siblings aside, what are you looking for this year? We are only a week into the new year and these past 7 days have been so fuzzy for me. I have been trying to figure out what I want from myself without asking myself. Which is pretty darn hard to do let me tell ya. I finished this past semester a lot stronger academically than I had anticipated (yay for overstudying geography!!!) and so I am really excited for this next semester’s new classes that I am much more interested in (a course literally called “life planning and decision making”????? count me in!!!!) and having a whole new fresh start without the big jumping change of college really has me excited yet overplanning how I expect this semester to go. Not even college speaking (for a change, lol), I’ve been going through the motions of going to work, seeing old friends, being home with family, cleaning my room at home, going to work, seeing friends, etc etc etc this entire break which don’t get me wrong has all been FANTASTIC but today I sat down and realized I have been so focused on DOING all of it, that I haven’t really been LIVING it. As another Pinterest quote reminds me often, you can’t live the same day 365 times and call it a year, and live that same year over and call it a life.

I need to stop looking and start living. Stop trying to find this perfect reality, perfect study plan, perfect day to day plan, and just start being myself and seeing where that takes me. And for someone whose agenda is their Bible even on winter break and who has reminders on their phone to CHECK THEIR AGENDA, trust me, this isn’t gonna be easy. It is so much harder than we anticipate sometimes to just breathe. To just sit back, and ASK YOURSELF: who are you? what do you believe in? what are you goals? what do you need to do to achieve  them? are you okay? are you happy? what makes you happy? Ask the hard stuff. Ask the stuff we normally push to the side because it IS the hard stuff! Get to know yourself. Find out who you are. Because the moment you do, you’ll understand what you’re looking for.

So what has 2017 brought me so far? Myself. I am piece by piece finding out who I am. I am learning to be proud of who that is and to embrace it because the world only gets one of me and what a waste that would be not to give it to them for who I am! Do the same. Be genuine. Find out something new about yourself? Does it terrify you? Good. Find out the hard stuff and start living a life full of discovery. We’re all pretty boring on the surface. Just a bunch of human beans doin’ their thing. But the world gets a trillion times more magical when you find out a persons favorite cereal or their first dog’s name. So let’s get to know the world. let’s make it more fun.

Below are some pictures I found of times and people that make me who I am. I dare you to find these experiences. Find the places and the events and the people that make you say “this is who I want to be. this is me at my best.” and stick with those. Make those into your every day routine and slowly you’ll add up these experiences and friends and have a life of your own that you created and that you love. how neato is that?

SO! Moral of this little rant: be curious. get to know who you are. find the parts of yourself you didn’t know existed. love them. embrace them. take each single day for what it is. use life’s twists and turns for the better and use your reactions to find out who you are and what you want to be to this world. after all, you’re the only thing in life you can control. use that power wisely my wizards!

until next time, xoxo, Ally

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